Miss
by emmadotlouise
Summary: Dedicated to a very special friend of mine who is no longer in this world. Crystal, rest in peace and I hope that you’re watching down on me. A special one-shot of SakuraSyaoran friendship. Songfic. Might have a tendency to make you say


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Disclaimer: I don't own CCS, but I wrote this song myself. It was written for a friend of mine who died back in June. If you're going to use the song, please let me know before you do. E-mails can be sent to karisa_temura@yahoo.co.nz 

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Dedicated to: Crystal. Rest in peace.

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Summary: Dedicated to a very special friend of mine who is no longer in this world. Crystal, rest in peace and I hope that you're watching down on me. A special one-shot of Sakura/Syaoran friendship. Songfic. Might have a tendency to make you say "Awww..." 

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Genre: Angst.

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Notes: I haven't seen any of the movies yet, and I saw the ending of the dubbed version of CCS, so I don't know if they ever confessed. This is from seventeen year old Sakura's point of view. Syaoran died in a freak accident.

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Missing You

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You know what, Syaoran? You were always there for me, no matter what. Even when you were back in Hong Kong with your family, you always talked to me and reassured me that everything would be all right. You were there when I doubted myself and you always believed in me. So what went wrong, Syaoran? Why couldn't I ever confess my feelings to you? There was just something about you... I never wanted to ruin the friendship that I had with you. You were very special to me, Syaoran. I only wish that I could have told you that before... before... Sakura cut off her abrupt train of thought. Now wasn't the time to wonder about Syaoran again. She'd been thinking of him ever since she'd heard the news.

It was more than a week ago, but she still broke down into tears whenever she thought about it. Syaoran... he was dead. He had been for more than a month now. Sakura still clearly remembered the day. Kero had been in the room with her when the phone had rung. Sakura had been the only one home that day and so she answered it. It had been Meiling on the other end, and she had not sounded too good.

Sakura had had a clear sense of foreboding that something horrible had happened, and her suspicions were more than correct, as she was absolutely horrified to find out. As soon as Meiling had told her that Syaoran was dead, the phone dropped right out of Sakura's hands as she froze.

At first, she was disbelieving, thinking that Meiling was pulling a prank on her, but slowly, ever so slowly, the disbelief wound through to shock. She had blacked out, and after that, she couldn't remember any more. The effects were still raw in her mind and her heart. Whenever someone mentioned Syaoran's name, she felt like there was a knife twisting in her heart, twisting round and round, over and over.

She got such sharp pangs of guilt it was almost painful.

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I'm going to miss you

I think you already knew that

When you passed on through the night

There I just sat

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"Sakura... are you okay?" 

Sakura heard a soft voice, and her finger rubbed around the rim of the mug of coffee that she was staring into. Her head shot up. "Syaoran?"

A sad smile was on Kero's plushie face. "I'm sorry, Sakura, but he's not coming back. You know he's passed on, Sakura."

A tear rolled down her cheek. "Yeah, I know, Kero-chan, but it's just so hard to believe sometimes. I had never contemplated a world without Syaoran in it."

"I know, Sakura. I know."

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I couldn't see your face at all

Though I knew that you were happy

Though now that you've passed on

I think I'm beginning to see...

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"It's so hard, Kero-chan. I want to move on, but it's too hard. I don't know if I can do it..." Sakura whispered, her voice choking halfway though and coming out as a husky whisper. "It's just so difficult..."

"We're here for you, Sakura. Not just me, but Yue, the cards, your family, your friends... we're all here for you and we will help you get through this." Kero floated over to her and patted her shoulder.

"Thanks, Kero-chan," Sakura replied, managing a wry half-smile as she turned her eyes and head to look over her shoulder at her guardian. "I owe everyone so much. They have always been here for me."

"And we'll continue to be here," Kero stated again. "I'm sure of it."

"Thanks, Kero-chan. I appreciate it."

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I'm beginning to get scared

I'm not afraid to say that much

I can feel your presence

And things of the such

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"It's no problem, Sakura. I'll go get us some breakfast." Kero floated out of the room.

"Okay." Her voice was still barely above a whisper. Suddenly the window flew open and a blast of cold air circled throughout the room. Sakura shivered. Something was in here; she could feel it, in both her senses and her heart. "I know you're here, and I want to know why," she whispered, so Kero couldn't hear her.

She got no answer.

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It's beginning to frighten me

I just don't want to say

Though it's the way of life

Maybe then it was just your day

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"Okay, you can choose to be that way. I just want to know who you are..." she whispered again, her voice husky, her eyes closed and senses open.

The words came to her as if they had been spoken, _"Look and you'll know..."_

"But how am I meant to do that? I can't see anything."

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"Open your mind."

"I am, but I'm not getting anything."

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"Open..."

The voice was from the air itself and to Sakura, it seemed quite familiar.

"...Syaoran...? Is that you...?"

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I'm missing you

It's going through

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"Well done, Sakura. It is not only me though. Your mother is here as well."

"Okaa-san?!" Sakura said loud enough, even so that Kero heard from the kitchen.

"Huh? I thought- WHOA! WHO IS THAT?!?!" Kero shouted in surprise. He almost fell out of the air with shock. "I recognise the gaki, but who's the lady with him?!"

"She's my mother, Kero-chan," Sakura whispered. "You've seen her when I captured Illusion, but this is her spirit. I can't see her myself, but I know that she is here."

"I can see spirits?! Cool!" Kero said, not realising the obvious fact that the cards were also spirits.

Syaoran shook his head sadly. The sun guardian of the seal was becoming denser with each pudding that he inhaled. Pretty soon Kero wasn't going to be able to think at all... the world would come to an end... sadly.

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I'm afraid to speak

I don't wanna seem weak

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"Syaoran... why did you leave?" Sakura asked.

"I had no choice, Sakura. This is the only time that I will be able to see you. I'm the guardian angel of Meiling now." Syaoran looked over at Sakura.

"Syaoran?"

"Yeah?"

"Before you go, there's one thing that I want you to know."

"What is it?"

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It's getting too hard

I don't wanna know anymore

My emotions are affecting me

Right through to the core

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"Um..." Sakura wrung her hands behind her back. This wasn't as easy as she had thought it would be.

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Come on, Sakura, just say it. I'm dying over here! Kero thought.

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I know I have to be strong,

But it doesn't feel that way

But I'm going to try

...And come what may

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"I want you to know that I love you," Sakura finally got out.

"I love you too, Sakura," Syaoran replied, a serene smile on his face. "I'm sorry, but I have to go now."

"Okay, Syaoran. Good bye... for now."

"Bye."

"You know what, Sakura? It's about bloody time you told the gaki."

"Kero!" Sakura exclaimed gleefully and tackled the guardian while he was floating in mid-air.

"Hey, watch the fur!" Kero protested. "It took me ages to get it just right this morning. I have a date."

This got a raised eyebrow from Sakura. "A date? With who?"

"With pudding."

"There's a person named Pudding?"

Kero shook his head sadly. Sometimes his mistress could be very dense... "Don't worry about it."

Sakura smiled sheepishly and laughed. "Gomen nasai, Kero-chan."

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The End.

I was actually thinking that I might have lasted all the way throughout this fanfic with angst. I was planning on making it a sad ending too, but I guess this is another one of those "Aww..." fics. How many people actually did that? Let's see...

Review if you want to.

--Kaiwawata

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AKA Karisa Temura


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